Leave the Ego Behind

Most of the ones who will read this are Educators and will understand the struggle of which the following post may reveal. For the past couple of years I have looked at my test scores and have been proud of them and what my students had accomplished. How was I to know the wake-up call I was about to endure.

I am an educator in the state of Tennessee and most Tennesseans have heard of the new testing process that has replaced the TCAP EOC to now TCAP TNReady. If you are not familiar with the whole TNReady debacle then you may want to look it up here. But that is a whole other story. What I am here to talk about is me and my performance on the TNReady test.

As mentioned earlier I have had decent test scores over the years. To say I was an outstanding or all-star teacher may be a stretch for me but I would like to think of myself as middle of the road according to the Value Added measures our State uses. So naturally, I went into the 2015-2016 school year very confident in my ability to prepare my students for the test that year. I had a few new tricks up my sleeve, I read a couple of books to get me pumped up for that year. All in hopes of having another good year. Then the tests came, and the scores were delayed and delayed again. I was not fretting over this because the State of Tennessee said our scores would not count although, I was really excited to see how I would stack up.

Finally, the end of November came around and the test scores from May had been released, I jokingly said I can not wait to see the one( Tennessee scores teachers on a 1-5 scale.)  Until I actually looked at my score, and I was an ONE? This can not be I told myself and I thought well I was a one so all of my other colleagues must be as well. I went down the list of my fellow U.S. History teachers asking them how they did I received the responses of; Five, Five, and Four. Now I was thinking this must be wrong there is no way I am the lowest effective teacher in our department it just cannot be. I kept thinking long and hard about what type of excuse I would have to give to all of my fellow teachers such as, the kids knew it was not going to count so they did not try. Then I had a meeting with myself to reevaluate what I had done over the last year.

I was beyond hurt, I just did not know how to handle myself. My ego was truly demolished at this point. So what did I do? First I realized I was the one to blame for my student’s struggles,  no one else. I then went to each of my fellow teachers and apologized for my scores and I told them I felt I was doing the right thing, and what they were doing was wrong.I did not change my approach with the new standardized test and they did. I went with a more overarching theme. I felt so foolish. The next step I did was have a sit down with my seniors(I teach 12th-grade History of Modern Music) many of them I had last year, and I told them to “grill” me and tell me what I did wrong. And guess what? they did, and it hurt, it hurt bad. I did not realize they hated the method I used with them, they were being nice all last year. One student told me she could not wrap her brain around the process I was trying to use, one in which I thought was easier.

That weekend I went home and I racked my brain, I went over and over what my students had told me and I put together a plan of old and new, creating more of a story with my students. So far my results on tests have been improved, but we shall see how the results will be at the end of the year.

My hope in writing this piece is not to let you know how I am changing the way I am teaching, this is more on how we as educators let our egos get in the way and only see our way of teaching. There are so many ways we can teach our children, but we are the ones who have to step aside and see what is best for them. I have taken the approach with my students this year as I would my six-year-old daughter and my 10-month-old son. We as educators should treat every child we have in our class like they are your own. Better yet ask yourself if my child were sitting in my class how would I want them to be taught. Thank you for your time in reading this I hope it will become and inspiration to you.

 

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One thought on “Leave the Ego Behind

  1. Ironic, but if I “lay an egg” as I am cooking, it is quite easy to go back to that master cook or the cookbook to find the error of my work. As a teacher, I am much more reluctant to be as transparent as you have been. And when I cook, I enjoy some uniformity of raw materials. I advise ALL teachers (myself first) to continually seek improvement. Would you have been as passionate to improve your craft with a FOUR? Probably not.

    In our business every test is formative…the event we seek as teachers of life who are certified in the social studies is competent citizens expressing care for others and our future. Check bask in a couple of decades and tell me how important that number was….

    Liked by 1 person

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